Hey 2013, you left memories.

The time is 8pm.

Few more hours to left this chapter of life.

I think of re-capturing 2013 from the early beginning to the very end. But this type of brain however, don't have enough RAM to process them all. "Tu la, kurang baca al-quran, kan dah lupa."

Yelah. Yelah.

For sure lot of things happen throughout the year, but the things that happened this past few days are just hitting me inside. I never felt my heart is so heavy to walk forward and meet 2014. New year usually was nothing much to me but this time, the feeling is so different. Sometimes determination takes turn to stream in my veins, but sometime despair suck all the blood out and leaving me nothing but fear. And what make my leg suddenly feel so numb to take another step is because I have no idea what am I afraid of?

Thinking of you are a grown up girl is pretty scary huh?

Maybe because of the insistence of living nowadays make me think there is no time for me to enjoy my teenage life. It's over. If you still wish to enjoy, think of the price that we have to pay for our future living. Groceries expenses, house rate, car price. And.. getting married, foster a family. When RM3000 of earning per month make you penniless, you still think you want to enjoy being a kiddos when the figure 2 is in front of your age? To earn a living, I better work from now on. It break my heart seeing my dad working so hard because there are still lot of mouth to fed on. And in the aged of 20++ you think I should keep playing like I'm 2? I'm taking a small step, to create my own salary with Herbalife, hoping that I could help my dad even I know a prosperous man like him won't need my helping hand. I believe seeing me become an independent women would draw a proud smile on his face, right?

I bumped into a video that make me realize to be successful what you need is hard work. Every sport stars was once an amateur. They gone through thick and thin of life. They risen when they fall. They don't have a strong heart, but they create the strength. But what am I today, I am satisfied, I am comfortable living in my comfort zone. And suddenly after looking at the video I realize, living without a need to pursue my goals is committing a spiritual suicide! What a shameful Muslim I am. 

"There will never be the point in your time, in your life, where it's the right time, to do a great day. If you wait for the perfect perfect moment, it's not going to happen."  

YOU HAVE TO CREATE THE PERFECT TIME.

You were given 24 hours a day and ask yourself what do you do with the time? See! The biggest enemy is yourself. You have to deal with it. And the enemies outside can do us no harm.

A non-muslim once said to me:
"Kerja ubah org lain tu kerja Tuhan, kerja ubah diri sendiri tu kerja kita."

2014. Lets be my perfect, perfect time.